Thanks to modern medical advances such as antibiotics, nasal spray, and Diet Coke, it has become routine for people in the civilized world to pass the age of 40, sometimes more than once. ~Dave Barry, "Your Disintegrating Body," Dave Barry Turns 40, 1990
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
Middle age is when your age starts to show around your middle. ~Bob Hope
Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional. ~Chili Davis
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. ~Red Buttons
May you live to be a hundred yearsWith one extra year to repent.~Author Unknown
It is not flesh and blood but the heart which makes us fathers and sons. ~Johann Schiller
Because time itself is like a spiral, something special happens on your birthday each year: The same energy that God invested in you at birth is present once again. ~Menachem Mendel Schneerson
Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened. ~Jennifer Yane
Youth is a disease from which we all recover. ~Dorothy Fulheim
Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. ~Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby, 1968
I don't care how poor a man is; if he has family, he's rich. ~M*A*S*H, Colonel Potter
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